Oh, America...

I don't usually get into politics here, but you know what... I just feel so disappointed in my country right now.

I'm queer. My partner is trans. We, along with many others in the community are quite worried about what Trump/Pence will be bringing. This morning my own mother tried to tell my sister (not her daughter), who is a lesbian, and myself that Hillary would have been worse for us. What? Worse than a guy who outright says he wants to roll back marriage equity, who wants to do away with protections that are in place... And, you know, a guy who, from all the people he could have picked, picked Pence. The guy who wanted to defund HIV programs and use that money for conversion therapy. (And that's just one of many nasty things on his record.)

This morning I had a little moment of panic, maybe we should get married right now! But then I remembered, if it goes back to the states to decide, we don't live in a shit state (at least in that sense). My heart goes out to all the people that do, however.

NH isn't doing great in other ways, however, and I am likely to lose my healthcare. I am thankful that I got the surgery I needed before it became an emergency that would put me deep into debt. I don't know what I will do about the medicines I need.

If I can go back to my mother for a moment, I saw her earlier saying strong women don't get sexually assaulted - this was to excuse some of the things Trump has said, and did. For obvious reasons, she does not know about the fact that I have been sexually assaulted.

And of course it's not just these things. There are many, many communities out there right now who are very nervous about what the future will bring. I can't blame them at all. Everyone says it will be fine, he won't really do X or Y, but as of right now we have no idea what he will or won't do. Maybe he will be an amazing President, wouldn't that be something? But we can't know right now, we can only know what he has said he wants to do. If you're reading this, and you care at all, please stand up for these communities, fight for them. Fight for yourself. Don't let these things happen without a fight.

Everything that is going on right now is making me sick to my stomach. I'm going to spend a long, long time outside looking at the moon and praying to Selene tonight, because I really need her peace right now.

(And I'm pretty sure this whole thing just caused my relationship with my mom to crash and burn. She wouldn't let up on Facebook, so bye. We were never super close, she didn't raise me, and we've lived in different states for the past decade. I'm not as torn up about it as I imagine I should be. I mean I love my mom, because she's my mom, but I'm an adult with my own boundaries, and she's crossed them over and over today. I do not need that in my life.)