Support

Tonight I went to an interfaith meeting at the reform Jewish temple my partner's family sometimes attends. It was specifically an event for the Jewish, Christian, and Muslim communities in the area (the Jewish and Christian groups actually share the temple/church together), but you know, secret agent pagan? In truth I've attended a lot of events there and never felt unwelcome, and the same goes for tonight.

The meeting was a support group of sorts? It was a night for the three communities to come together, share some prayers and songs, and speak a little on what the future would bring, and so on. There were potions where we spoke to those around us about our fears and hopes for the coming few years. There are, understandably, a lot of worries. And there is, thankfully, hope to be found, and communities coming together to lift each other up.

This is the beginning of something bigger for this group. Unfortunately, not living in the area, it's not something I'll really be able to participate - but it does make me think about seeking out these sorts of things at home. Now is a good time for it.

Oh, America...

I don't usually get into politics here, but you know what... I just feel so disappointed in my country right now.

I'm queer. My partner is trans. We, along with many others in the community are quite worried about what Trump/Pence will be bringing. This morning my own mother tried to tell my sister (not her daughter), who is a lesbian, and myself that Hillary would have been worse for us. What? Worse than a guy who outright says he wants to roll back marriage equity, who wants to do away with protections that are in place... And, you know, a guy who, from all the people he could have picked, picked Pence. The guy who wanted to defund HIV programs and use that money for conversion therapy. (And that's just one of many nasty things on his record.)

This morning I had a little moment of panic, maybe we should get married right now! But then I remembered, if it goes back to the states to decide, we don't live in a shit state (at least in that sense). My heart goes out to all the people that do, however.

NH isn't doing great in other ways, however, and I am likely to lose my healthcare. I am thankful that I got the surgery I needed before it became an emergency that would put me deep into debt. I don't know what I will do about the medicines I need.

If I can go back to my mother for a moment, I saw her earlier saying strong women don't get sexually assaulted - this was to excuse some of the things Trump has said, and did. For obvious reasons, she does not know about the fact that I have been sexually assaulted.

And of course it's not just these things. There are many, many communities out there right now who are very nervous about what the future will bring. I can't blame them at all. Everyone says it will be fine, he won't really do X or Y, but as of right now we have no idea what he will or won't do. Maybe he will be an amazing President, wouldn't that be something? But we can't know right now, we can only know what he has said he wants to do. If you're reading this, and you care at all, please stand up for these communities, fight for them. Fight for yourself. Don't let these things happen without a fight.

Everything that is going on right now is making me sick to my stomach. I'm going to spend a long, long time outside looking at the moon and praying to Selene tonight, because I really need her peace right now.

(And I'm pretty sure this whole thing just caused my relationship with my mom to crash and burn. She wouldn't let up on Facebook, so bye. We were never super close, she didn't raise me, and we've lived in different states for the past decade. I'm not as torn up about it as I imagine I should be. I mean I love my mom, because she's my mom, but I'm an adult with my own boundaries, and she's crossed them over and over today. I do not need that in my life.)

A New Book

So I decided to treat myself to an 'early' Yule present (but not that early, because it won't be here until mid-December anyway) - a new book of shadows to write in.

For many, many years I just used a three ring binder and regular notebook paper. It wasn't elegant, but it was practical and it worked very well. Eventually I began using a hardcover sketchbook, then another, and things started getting broken up into different books. Using sketchbooks definitely let me add a lot of personal artistic touches, which was great, but the 'journal' style format, using different books for different subjects (due to size, or trying to keep some organization going), it just doesn't work as well for me.

So I decided to take the leap and buy a nicely made book from an online crafter. It's got a beautiful design on the outside, and while the overall size isn't huge (like so many books seem to be!) it's got tons of paper in it... and the best thing? It's a post bound book, meaning I can add additional paper if necessary, move pages around as much as I like, I can take the pages out and print on them if necessary, and so on.

I've seen various post bound books floating around before, but I was never sure if that's what I really wanted, since I don't always like how they look - and, well, a lot of the nicer ones tend to be expensive. I think it will be worth it in the end, though. After having tried all these different things, I do think this is what's going to work best for me. And it will be nice to actually have everything back together in the same place again.

So it won't be here for a while still, but I'm really looking forward to creating something a bit more lasting than my previous attempts.

Colder weather?

Today is the day I traditionally make a special offering to Hestia, keep her fire burning all day, in the hopes that she will keep my family and our homes safe and warm during the winter months. Fuel is expensive, things go wrong and break, power outages... All bad when it's below freezing out.

The thing is, I'm just not feeling it right now. It's been high 70s, even up into the 80s, the past few weeks in Denver. Meanwhile, it's in the high 40s back home. I've kept a candle lit today for Hestia, I'm trying to think of back home, but this weather has me all in the wrong mind.

I know a lot of people would be saying, hey, don't complain, it's too cold! But, truth is, I've just always liked colder weather. (After living in Western Washington five years, the one thing I missed the most was the snow.) Temperatures in the 50s? Great day for me.

One of my favorite memories from when I was little, was when it would snow in the late evening. It would be dark out, and my grandfather would turn on the porch and garage lights, and plow the driveway so it wouldn't be as bad in the morning. Playing out in the front yard in the dark, under all the giant pine trees, snow still coming down. There's just something magical about it. Even now, when the snow starts coming down in the night, I'll still go out and roam around in it, enjoying it.

What kind of gods...

I spent the day at the botanic gardens. There were a variety of Dia de los Muertos memorials around the park, including one for the victims of the Pulse Nightclub shooting.

A story has been making the rounds in the LGBTQA community about a group of Christians trying to use the Pulse massacre in their hell house.

If you're lucky enough to not know what a hell house is, it's where they show a bunch of sinners, like a woman getting an abortion, people partying, doing drugs, whatever, often these people then appear in a hell scene, and at the end you're supposed to be so scared of what you saw you jump up and get saved by Jesus.

Frankly, I think the concept is disgusting altogether, but the idea that these people wanted to show off the 'sins' of people who were brutally massacred, as if they deserved that sort of thing... how fucking gross do you have to be? And to top it off, the event was canceled because they tried to hold it in a public school (apparently misrepresenting the event to get there), and the organizers have the audacity to say that people are a bunch of haters? The lack of self-awareness is amazing. Apparently "God will work it out," though. Hmm... well the event was canceled, so maybe that's God's way of saying you shouldn't be hateful, insensitive people. Whatever happened to that whole love and compassion thing Jesus was so big on?

Meanwhile, in the polytheist community, in India some Muslims destroyed some Hindu temples, and personal property. Apparently retribution for... someone mocking them? Article was unclear. In reply to this I saw a Hindu saying that their gods were laughing at the Muslim children and widows in the middle east. I know there's a lot of bad blood there, and that's putting it mildly, but holy shit man... if you all ever see me saying my gods are laughing at the suffering of children, please take my keyboard away from me.

I know Greek myth is full of some nasty events, but there's a reason why most Greek polytheists don't take the myths as literal 'word of God' events. They're human stories. Humans trying to grasp something so much bigger. So while I don't want to speak on the behalf of any gods that are out there... like... you know, if your God is cool with exploiting a recent tragedy, if you think your God is sitting up there laughing at suffering children, well, maybe you've got some shitty gods. Or, more likely, maybe you're just a shitty person.

UPG: Polymnia and Kleio

Polymnia and Kleio are two of the nine Olympic muses. Polymnia is the muse of hymns, sacred poetry, and so on, while Kleio is the muse of history. (You can read more about both of them in this post.)  I am still only in the very beginning of my journey to know these two goddesses, but I hope to add to this post as time goes on.

I have found Polymnia to appreciate offerings of light white or pink wines, usually those which have been watered down, as well as fresh figs. For incense I would suggest light, airy scents (but not necessarily floral). Something like sandalwood, perhaps. I have come to associate her with the colors light blue, grey, white, and a light sandy gold color. In addition to the symbols associated with her in antiquity, I also associate her with butterflies, and with the pitcher and bowl, two items many modern worshipers of the Hellenic gods often use in their devotions - either to purify before devotions, or to make libations at altars.

In antiquity Polymnia was known to wrap a long cloak or veil around herself. Although not something I have worked with yet, I do feel somewhat called to wrap in such a cloth before calling on her for inspiration.

Kleio I have come to associate with the colors orange, red, yellow, and gold. Strong, vibrant colors, as well as with lions. Offerings of frankincense. Strong spicy teas, and maybe coffee? Non-physical offerings of studying history, teaching history, and so on... although, that's probably an obvious one, considering her role.

The Trouble With Life Expectancy

Life expectancy is something I see getting brought up occasionally in pagan conversation. The trouble is, a lot of people don't really seem to understand what life expectancy means. The person who most recently brought this up to me was attempting to say, well, the ancient Greeks had an average lifespan of only 30-40 years old, so a lot of them probably never communicated with a deity. (So whatever they had to say was probably not worth listening to? Ironically, this person was only 30, so...) I find this a very, very bizarre statement all around, but mostly because... well, it's not like people in Ancient Greece were all just falling over dead at the age of 35.

See, the thing about those lifespans that look so low to us now, is that they include infant deaths. Death was indeed very common for infants and young children. All those young deaths brought down the average as a whole. However, if you made it out of young childhood, you had a much better shot at leading a fairly long life. Sure, disease was still an issue, war, and of course childbirth itself was very dangerous, and social status played a part as well, but you know, a lot of people still managed to live into their 60s, 70s, and so on.

I mean, after all, you had to be at least 60 to be a member of the Spartan senate. And it's not like they had a hard time with this, getting into the senate was quite a competitive thing, and people who did enter the senate often served for quite a while.

So life expectancy doesn't really tell us about any of that, how long people might live once they were out of early childhood. What we can see from life expectancy is that, say, in the modern US, thanks to medical advancements, many infants and children are no longer dying so early. And yeah, that's a good thing. I'm not knocking modern life, modern medicine, modern technology. I'm a fan of all that good stuff. Just don't think we should misunderstand or underestimate our ancestors, the lives they lived, what those lives were like, and yes, the things they did accomplish. Because they accomplished a lot.

UPG relating to Hekate

So, considering my recent post on the whole UPG thing, I figured maybe it would be a good time to actually share some of mine, little things I've discovered that aren't historical in nature. In this case those relating to Hekate, but others will come later in the week...

For offerings I have found Hekate calls for the fat rendered off from cooking beef. I believe the first time this happened I was cooking some ground beef on the night of Hekate's deipnon (a monthly festival dedicated to her, which is from antiquity), and I just had the overwhelming urge to save the fat which I would have otherwise discarded, to add it to my offerings that night. I did, and I have tried to do so whenever I cook beef. Apples are another offering I find she likes, that doesn't seem to have been emphasized historically.

I associate red roses with Hekate, and it seems quite a few people actually do this. Someone once said to me they associate no flowers with Hekate, because she was not a 'flowery' goddess, but that's why I like roses for her. They're beautiful, like she is... but they have thorns, they can draw blood, and they have a reputation as difficult to grow. Yet, those that grow them find the time and effort worth it. 

I have also come to associate common sage with her (not white/smudging sage). And for stones, labradorite and lava rock. I find wells to be sacred to her, among other deities - perhaps because they are a liminal space, a link to the underworld. In the Orphic hymn she is called "Hekate of the Roads," and this is something I have come to emphasize in my own practice in many ways.

For symbols I tend to look to her historical ones, but there is also the crescent moon with it's 'horns' pointing downward. I associate this with all chthonic deities, but Hekate especially.

I find she likes frankincense and myrrh, although both would likely have been offered at some point in antiquity. Patchouli is another incense for her, as well as other deep earthy scents, or the scent of heavy night blooming flowers. Thick, sort of sweet, the scent of a hot, humid summer night.

I have come to know her as "queen of the night-singing ones," in other words, those insects and other creatures which call at night. Again, very much the sound of summer.

I suppose my associating her with summer is an odd UPG in itself. Many seem to see her more in the autumn weather, and I do see here there as well, she is present all year, but there is simply something about a summer night that makes me think of her in so many ways. Especially when a storm is brewing in the distance. That charge on the air you don't often get in autumn.

As far as other modern practices go, again, there is the Rite of Her Sacred Fires which I celebrated this year. It's not personal, I didn't create it, and a whole bunch of people participate in it, but it is modern. As, at this point in time, I do still celebrate the wheel of the year, and so I honor Hekate at Samhain. Again, perhaps not that unusual in modern paganism, but it is not an ancient practice, so I'll include it. Samhain reminds me a bit of her monthly deipnon festival, and it is one of the liminal times of year, where everything is moving from life to death. To that end, I also associate her a bit with Beltane, the other half of that time, when things move from death back to life.   

UPG and Modern Practice

So I like history, that's no secret to anyone who's interacted with me for more than five minutes. When it comes to my spirituality, I do have some reconstructionist tendencies. Say, for getting to know deities... the cultures they came from gave them particular meanings, some specific to the culture, they worshiped them for hundreds, if not thousands of years, established their rites, and so on. These people knew their gods, and I think we'd be kinda silly to ignore the surviving knowledge and understandings these people had.

Some people tend to see that, and think oh, hey, this person is stuck in the past, they don't like anything modern. Which isn't true. Hell, I wouldn't even flat out call myself a reconstructionist. I'm not at all against modern practices, creations, and I'm not against unverified personal gnosis. (UPG - the idea that I might have a particular spiritual practice that doesn't necessarily apply to others, and isn't 'verified' by sources from antiquity.) I have partaken in modern rites (Her Sacred Fires, for example?), I have made my own modern associations for the deities I have built relationships with.

What bothers me is when people try to pass of these things as ancient, when they're not. Like, the Ancient Greeks didn't offer pumpkins to Hekate on Oct 31st, because the ancient Greeks didn't have pumpkins, nor did they have a calendar that would easily correspond to our idea of Oct 31st. Does it mean no one should do this? Nope, if you feel called to it, go for it... just, you know, don't paint it as something it's not. Don't tell me this is what the Ancient Greeks did. That sort of thing doesn't help anyone, and only makes it more confusing for those seeking out the historical side of things.

I am not at all against modern practices... but don't call them something they're not. If the practice is valid, even if only for you, you don't need to take a fake history onto it to make it sound better.

Happy New Year

A few days ago was the first day of the new Athenian year, and I celebrated in the tradition way... which is to say, I didn't do anything at all. For whatever reason, the Athenians didn't really have any specific festivals for the new year. City officials made offerings to Athena and Zeus on the last day of the year, and all business, trials, and so on, had to be finished up before the new year began. I probably should have made some offerings at the end of the year, but real talk, I am tired as heck and it's been a rough week all around. I'll make the offerings next month. Kinda the nice thing about Greek polytheism, the unit of the month tends to be much more emphasized over the year, every month has the festivals for ending and beginning new again.